Humor

“Laughter need not be cut out of anything,

since it improves everything.”

~ James Thurber

There is a tendency to see humor as fluff, something literally not to be taken seriously, but humor is a survival tool. I know no one who has not said after coming out on the other side of a tragedy, “I couldn’t have survived without my sense of humor.”

That’s not to say that caregiving is a barrel of laughs, but the reality is that most laughter is triggered not by jokes, but by our shared humanity, often our shared misery in a frustrating situation. Laughter interrupts the panic cycle of an illness or a situation. When we laugh in distress, it lightens our perspective, even if only for a moment. That flash of light provides a flash of hope that we can make it through whatever we’re facing — especially when we stay connected with others and face it together.

Many physical and mental benefits come from keeping a sense of humor, and amazingly, even most people living with dementia retain their ability to laugh and smile, almost until they die. Some are even able to make remarkable jokes.

A woman I have long admired who was the co-founder of a day center for people living with dementia was standing next to a client one day watching the squirrels playing outside the window and remarked on how cute they were. The client said, “We’re pretty squirrely in here, too, and nobody thinks we’re cute.” That’s funny, insightful, and a reminder to keep looking for what’s fun.

How do you find it?

Let me start by advocating for cartoons.

It may sound peculiar, but I am a huge advocate of using cartoons for instant relaxation for carers, both givers and receivers. You can use them for 5-minute reset breaks throughout the day, for nightstand reading, or for a one-on-one activity. I’m especially fond of the super nice cartoonist Dave Coverly, whose single-panel Speed Bump cartoons have proven to be just what the doctor should have ordered.  I have given his book Speed Bump, a 25th Anniversary Collection to multiple people with multiple conditions, always with great success, because the gentle humor of its 200 cartoons can be read over and over again without losing their fun. (He also has other books on dogs, cats, and the medical system.) His daily cartoon appears in 400 newspapers, including The Washington Post and Los Angeles Times. You can see hundreds of his cartoons by Googling his name and “images.” Or you can go here to sign up to receive a daily text of one of his cartoons at a cost of about $3/month.

Here are a few more suggestions:

• My parents never went to bed at night without watching Johnny Carson on “The Tonight Show,” which means they always went to bed with a smile on their faces. It’s a wise practice that sets the mood for a good night’s sleep. You can still get DVDs of the funniest moments of his shows, and it only takes 10 -15 minutes of watching for a positive effect. There are also endless short YouTube videos and other sources of instantly available cheerful ways to end the day.
• Start the day with a smile by signing up via email for a joke-of-the-day or a cartoon-of-the-day. A Google search will reveal multiple choices.
• My friend Allen Klein is the author of dozens of uplifting books and also produces a free Mid-Month Mirth Memo on the 15^th of every month. Sign up here. He has also written a bunch of articles on humor to keep your spirits up.
• My weekly e-newsletter, Wait Lifters – Uplifting content for every kind of downtime is another source of good cheer.
• I have also written a lot more on this topic, including how humor makes us benevolent. Read it here.

Bottom line: Funny sights and funny words are everywhere. Watch for them.